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Find a Cowboy

You say, you're looking for a cowboy, girl? Well, they ain't hard to find,

If you ain't seen one where you live, you surely must be blind.

Just look around, open your eyes, you'll see they're everywhere,

Just watch for pick-ups, watch for dogs, and watch for long-neck beer.

Now, here's a hint or two, for you, if a cowboy you must find,

So you can tell the real one's, from the drug store kind.

Cowboys don't all dress the same, 'cause some have different taste,

But..., don't follow one with rinestone chaps, 'less you've got time to waste.

Cowboys like to look real good, when they go out to dance,

Spend a lot of time and effort, pickin' out their pants,

Real tight, with creases down the front, not folded at the seams.

You won't ever find a cowboy, wearin' baggy jeans,

Check out the one's with western hats, with sweat marks on the brim,

Forget the one's with feathers, and a lot of fancy trim.

Belt buckles are another clue, a certain give-away,

'Cause they won't have no rebel flags, they'll say P.R.C.A.

If you hear a biker talkin' tough, and soundin' kinda gnarley,

You won't find many cowboys who, are out there ridin' Harleys.

Sports cars and vans, don't make it here, a pick-up's what he's got,

So if you want, to know for sure, just check the parking lot.

Next time you're in your local club, and a Texas drawl you hear,

Don't order gin and tonic, girl, ...order long-neck beer.

Before that bottle hits the bar, you better turn around,

'Cause right there on that next stool, girl, a cowboy you'll have found.

Most cowboys, they speak kinda' slow, they not much in a rush,

Use a lot of real nice terms, like "Ma'am", and "Please..", and such.

Set back relax, enjoy your drink, and let him do the talkin',

'Cause girls who don't know when to shut up, usually wind up walkin'.

If you still want a cowboy, girl, to set your heart a'beatin',

And you still haven't had no luck, at findin' one, and meetin'.

The job of finding one, you see, is really not that hard,

Just check the yellow pages, girl, look under cattle guard.

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© 1997, JD Evans

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